Today I got an email from KH, my therapist from treatment back in 2009. It was great to hear from him, but the email he sent was from a previous email "conversation" that we had so I was able to look back at what I had said the last time I emailed him, which is May 2010. Coincidentally, yesterday I was looking at old emails between me and SH, my friend from treatment, dating back to 2008. These emails had a few things in common. First, I had a really bad attitude. I was stubborn. I was ambivalent about getting help, and refused to get the treatment I needed. Secondly, I was absolutely hopeless-- I believed I was going to die from my disorders.
Things have changed. I'm still extremely stubborn, but I also believe I am open to help. For example, I rekindled my relationship with D last year in order to work on whatever issues I may have instead of only medicating them.
And in terms of hope-- well, that's questionable. There are days and times that I feel hopeless, but that also means that there are days and times that I feel hopeful. Things are going really well in terms of eating and my depression has been... moderate. Now if only I could stop sleeping.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
64 comments:
Good Morning NOS,
Thanks for sending me positive energy yesterday. I have had a trying week at work. It means alot. :)
When I read your post I remembered when I first started following your blog. Yes, you have definitely changed. I am so happy that I have been able to have been a part to see how much you have been growing. I see the person you were created to be emerging apart from the ED. NOS, I see a beautiful person with a caring heart, especially for animals and broken people. An intelligent, very witty person, with so much to offer this world. I want to encourage you to keep taking one step, and one day at a time. I can't wait to look back in another year and see how your beauty is shining through even more.
Hugs,
Tammy
Hope is such an important part of healing. I watched you and have seen great changes in you over the last several months. I am so proud of you. As for the sleep I hope it get better when you are adjusted to your medication. With all my support and love. Wanda
One day at a time NOS. You are heading in the right direction. Always supporting you. Blessings.
oh Nos...this post..your post had me cheering for you. Recovery is never a straight road...it's got so many hiccups but that you have a sense of changing...wow and double wow. Stay strong girl...and keep moving forward....a recovering alcoholic once said to me...inch by inch it's a cinch...yard by yard it's hard. It's goofy and simple but I've never forgotten his words...one shaky step at a time...in your corner...always. ☺
progress not perfection :)
you are making progress NOS, and that is seriously GREAT :)
Oh I'm so pleased you can recognise your changes, that in itself is hopeful! Good going hun xxx
It's awesome when you can look back and see how far you've come. I'm so happy for you that you have some hope and positivity in your life now.
Hi NOS,
Sending you a Monday hug....
Blessings,
Tammy
NOSSY, here thinking and praying for you dear one. Miss you! ((((NOS))))
Just checking in on you to make sure you are OK.
Good Morning NOS,
Just checking in... You are in my thoughts, sweetie. Hoping you are OK and just taking a break.
Blessings,
Tammy
((((NOSSY))))
Thinking about you dear one.
Hey NOS,
Thinking of you this morning. Sending you a hug. (((NOS))) Miss reading your posts.
Blessings,
Tammy
Do hope you are doing ok NOS. Thinking about you.
Lord, I pray for NOS. I pray that you would hold her in her arms while she is walking through whatever she is walking through. I pray you send angels to comfort her and touch her with healing in their wings. Help her feel this prayer and know she is cared for and thought about.
In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen
Sending you lots of hugs (((NOS)))
Here sending you a hug.....
to me, that sort of change point to hope!
honey, I hope everything's alright. I just realized that I haven't seen any posts from you in a long time.
hugs ~ L
Thinking about you NOS!
Hey Nos...thinking about you...Hoping you're okay....Stay strong out there.
((((NOS))))
Hi NOS,
My computer crashed so I have been offline for a few days... Just want you to know you are missed and I am thinking of you.
Blessings,
Tammy
NOSSYm just a note to let you know that caring thoughts are always with you.
Hi NOS,
Stopping by to tell you that I am thinking of you....
Blessings,
Tammy
Yes you have changed NOS. We are all really proud of you.
I hope you come back to post soon so we can hear what has happened since..
Be well NOS
NOS I just want to let you know I am thinking about whatever you may be going through. ((((NOS))))
Worried about you! Long time no word from you.
Continue thinking and praying for you NOS. Safe hugs......
As always thinking about you NOS.....
Hi NOS,
Thinking about you. I see you changed your background so it makes me think you are just taking a break.
Sending you a hug, sweetie.
Blessings,
Tammy
NOS..... I continue to think and pray for you dear one. Here is a quote I found: "There is a past which is gone forever, but there is a future which is still our own."
Thinking of you, NOS.
Blessings
Tammy
NOS as always been thinking and praying for you dear one. Safe hugs......
Hi Sweetie,
Thinking of you and hoping you are Ok. Sending hugs of support and hope you can come back soon. :)
Blessings,
Tammy
Here as always NOS thinking about you. Many safe hugs during this time for you dear one.
(((((NOSSY)))))
NOS I miss you! ((((NOS))))
Thinking of you, NOS.
Blessings and hugs,
Tammy
I'm thinking about you NOS... I hope to God that you're okay... but I know, that no matter what... you're okay... I think of you often, dear child-- wherever you are...
and wishing you well...
Lexie
((((NOSSY))))
Still thinking of you....missing reading about what is going on with you. I will be here when you come back. :)
Blessings and hugs,
Tammy
Thinking about you NOSSY.
Hi Nos,
Thinking about you today. Sending you love and hugs.
Blessings,
Tammy
Thinking about you this Thanksgiving. ((((NOS))))
Thinking about you NOS.
Still in my thoughts.....
Merry Christmas my sweet friend...
Miss seeing you and praying you are well. (((NOS)))
During this holiday, still thinking of you. Safe hugs NOSSY.
((((((((((NOS)))))))))
I miss you so much darling girl. Someday, somehow, I do hope to hear from you again. Or if you are no longer with us, perhaps, one day a loved one will find your blog and see how much you were loved... even by a total stranger. Except not a stranger. Strangers are strange-- and unknown and perhaps as bloggie friends, we've come to know each other more deeply and intimately, than our so-called nearest and dearest.
Love Always,
Lexie
New Years greetings to you dear one. Thinking of you.
Happy New Year NOS....thinking of you today.
Hugs,
Tammy
Thinking about you today....NOS. Sending you a hug.
Blessings,
Tammy
NOSSY you are still on my mind!!!
Thinking of you as I often do... NOSy.
Wishing you well, wherever you are...
I'm a year older now. 56 and I was born in 56! Some say that the number 1111 means something good.
I feel so scared every time I realize how long its been since you've written.
how could I not?
love always ~ L
Still thinking of you NOS....
Hugs,
Tammy
((((NOS)))))
You have not left my thoughts yet.....
Thinking of you, today, NOS. Missing reading your posts.
Hugs,
Tammy
Sending St. Patty's wishes to you NOSSY! Praying you are doing okay! Hugs.
((((NOSSY))))
(((NOS))))
((((NOSSY))))
Thinking about you NOS...
Hugs,
Tammy
NOSSY praying for protection for you and that you are okay. Hugs my dear.
(((NOSSY))))
Post a Comment