Yesterday I had an appointment with D and I was in a BAD MOOD. Firstly, he was 25 minutes late to the appointment-- as he came out of his office I was dialing his number so I could leave a message saying that it was ridiculous to have to wait almost a half hour and that I was going home. I also had some bones to pick with him about how he handled group on Saturday. So I went into his office armed and ready to fire (figuratively).
At first I expressed my anger with his lateness. If D was never late and he was late for the first time on Sunday I wouldn't have been angry, but he does that all the time. He said that he had an emergency that he had to take care of. I understand that a client in crisis should take precedence over a client not in crisis, but I told him that he could have and should have at least texted me telling me he was going to be late.
Then I told him that he allowed way too much triggering talk in group on Saturday. I told him that I thought it was bullshit that he was encouraging a person who was physically unstable and using behaviors daily to not go to treatment. I told him that I could not be in a group if the group chooses to frame eating disorders as a matter of weight only. I told him that I wasn't going to go back to group until the person who was responsible for triggering me went to treatment or got her act together (admittedly this is slightly childish, but I am just trying to protect myself from being severely triggered again).
D said that when I express my anger to him it hits him harder than when other clients express their anger. He said that my anger is basically disappointment with him, and he feels guilty for disappointing me. I thought that was kind of funny-- I guess my parent's guilt-tripping skills have rubbed off on me.