Well, I followed my new meal plan today. It was really scary, but somehow felt good. I didn't get extremely hungry between lunch and dinner (my new dietitian added a snack in the mid-afternoon), and therefore I wasn't thinking about food all day. I was actually able to go to the library and focus on my school work! That felt good.
But on the other hand, I felt really depressed today. I felt like crying all day but I'm not sure why. It's possible that because I wasn't obsessing about food my mind went to other things, and pretty much everything in my mind is sad. It's also possible that I was using my eating disorder as a drug and now I'm feeling withdrawal. I don't know. But it was a pretty unpleasant place to be today.
Now the challenge is making it through the night without using behaviors to alleviate my depression.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Oh, I'm so glad that your eating went better, but sorry that you're down. Perhaps the ED covers up the underlying depression.
If you should be up and still feeling down... Here is the magnificent Suzanne Whang (did you ever see the show House Hunters?) She's hilarious! And she is also battling breast cancer.
the link is not about that-- its her alter ego "Sun Hee Park"
Stick with it... she's outrageous!
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d1b65d3021/sung-hee-park-best-buddhist-ever-extended-version
And yes... NotOKCupidParkBoy is a clueless, shallow loser and probably cheating on his REAL girlfriend!
xo,
L
I too have been obsessing with food and exercise to keep my mind off the "junk" in my life I can not deal with. Depression is such a draining disease.
I'm glad you were able to eat however I wish it did not cause the depression. I know you can do this NOS. You are so strong and a beautiful young women. Please take care. Wanda
Good Morning NOS,
((((NOS))))
Blessings,
Tammy
ugh, I feel you man. Sometimes, even when you make the healthy choice, the pain is still there. I think that having chronic depression is similar to having chronic pain, except that there are better meds for chronic pain.
I dont know what to say, except that I am right there with you. Sometimes the best we can do is to just keep going.
Post a Comment