Last night I went out for tea with my friend from high school, HK. I had a good time, except HK enjoys being argumentative for the sake of being argumentative and it gets obnoxious at a point. He told me that he "disapproves" of sex outside of a relationship-- not cheating, but just having sex without dating someone (like my relationship with S, although I'm 99% sure that HK doesn't know about my relationship with S). I told him that no one needs his approval so it's no problem. He also challenged my vegetarianism-- something that really makes me angry. I don't care if other people eat meat or not-- my morals/ethics are my morals/ethics and I have no right to push them on others-- but it really bothers me when people try to convince me I'm wrong. HK's argument was that plants probably feel pain too, so if I'm not to be hypocritical I shouldn't eat plants either, and because I eat plants and am therefore hypocritical I should just give up my vegetarian beliefs. I told him that just because I may be causing plants pain (although I believe that's unlikely) doesn't mean that I should cause animals pain too. HK clearly thrives on causing unneeded and senseless conflict, and it got annoying.
Today I saw KS today and also had a pretty good time. I hadn't seen her in over a year, and it was nice to rekindle our friendship. However, KS alerted me to the fact that this morning there was a suicide in our town; someone stood on the train tracks and did not get out of the way when the train approached. As you know, I often think about committing suicide in this way and therefore this triggered some unpleasant thoughts.
In the good news department, I followed my meal plan today for the first time since last Thursday. I've been having eating disordered thoughts today, but I know I need to stop putting off my recovery until tomorrow. "One more day of restricting" is never only one more day of restricting. But I wish I could accurately describe how difficult it is to stop using behaviors. It's hard.
Well, tomorrow morning at 6am I am leaving on a jet plane for Israel for my Birthright trip for 10 days, so I won't be posting on this blog or commenting on your blogs because I will not have access to a computer. I hope you all have a good week-and-a-half, and I look forward to telling you all about my trip on June 26th (or 27th if I'm exhausted)! Be well, readers. I'll miss you!