My sister A is at the library at the moment and I'm home alone so I can write safely.
Yesterday was boring, but not bad. I didn't really do anything in the morning, but after lunch A and I went to the library to do some reading. My ecological anthropology class has a LOT of reading, and specifically a LOT of reading due on Wednesday so I wanted to get a head start.
In the evening I had to go to my aunt's house for Rosh Hashana dinner. I am always turned off by my aunt-- she is really religious and enjoys pushing her religion or religious culture on others. For example, she felt it necessary to turn the dinner into a lesson in Judaism, explaining why we do every blessing and eat every food. Also, when she was cutting the challah she said "At rotsah dvash au melach?" (Translation: "Do you want honey or salt?") She expected everyone to answer her in Hebrew. So A responds in English, "Honey," and my aunt said "I can see those twelve years paying [insert name of Jewish private school that A attended here] tuition paid off. Answer in Hebrew, please." It rubbed me and A the wrong way.
But that being said, I think I did a pretty good job with eating. I put a variety of food on my plate and was able to eat an appropriate amount. I even had dessert! I also followed my taste by not eating the rest of one dish I tried. That may not seem like a big deal, but I've spent two years of my life in treatment or the hospital and they pretty much forced food down my throat so I wasn't able to follow my taste, and I kind of learned just to eat what is served no matter if I like it or not. So being able to discern what I like from what I don't and act accordingly is actually more of an accomplishment than it may be for the average person.
Tonight is another family dinner, this time at our house. I already peeked at the menu and planned what I'm going to eat so that I'm not anxious at the table. I think that was a good idea, no?
Update: Remember on Wednesday when I announced that I was going to try and be eating disorder symptom-free for a week? Well, so far I have been symptom-free for four days! I have had eating disordered thoughts, but I have been able to keep my behavior in check. Three more days and I will have accomplished my goal!